marriage

it's been quite a while since i've had a chance to write. life has been good, really good, rough, amazing....

last weekend my husband, mike, and i went to a marriage retreat. our church had a Sweet Escape for married couples with dinner, sessions with pastor boggs, breakfast, more sessions, mingling with other couples, etc. mike and i had such a good time. our marriage is amazing anyway, but it was just nice to get away with him, by ourselves, without avery. it is always good to cultivate your relationship. i feel as if mike and i do a good job of this already, but we can always become better. each of us communicate, each of us go the extra mile, each of us thank each other when one puts forth effort or does something extra. it's amazing because at one point i didn't believe in marriage. i didn't think that marriage could be anything great. now, the Lord has blessed me and has shown me what marriage is supposed to be. it's an indescribable union between two people that are committed to one another, that love each other unconditionally regardless of flaws. i love marriage now. i love my spouse more than i ever dreamed possible. i'm so thankful that the Lord brought mike into my path to share life with. God is Good.

do you ever wonder what makes marriage last or not last? the answer is pretty easy...God or satan. my first marriage was a nightmare. every girl dreams of their wedding day. they think it is going to be a spectacular day. the day before my first wedding i was scared to death. the guy was a good guy...nice, fun, attended church and seemed to be a lover of the Lord. i just remember the day before the wedding i was scared to death. i didn't know if i wanted to go through with it. i looked at him and wanted to run away. i thought to myself, 'he's not right with the Lord'. i ignored the feelings thinking that it was pre-wedding jitters. it was later i realized that this was a more serious problem.

the moment the wedding festivities were over i knew that i had gone through with something i shouldn't have. i thought to myself, 'i have to go away with this guy for a week!?' i was not looking forward to it. i had the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. there was a reason. i didn't listen to the Lord when He was trying to warn me. married life went on and it lasted a little over two years. it was rough. i would pray asking for direction. i felt the Lord was being silent. i didn't know what to do. i stuck it out. then the moment came when i was scared for my life. i will say that he never hurt me physically. it just got to the point that i was scared it was going to. i left. i never went back. on a sunday in july i was praying that the Lord would give me a sign, show me what to do. after church i received a call that he had met someone and would go through with a dissolution. relief swept over me. i believe that was the Lord saying, "here is your answer."

fast forward to august 2005...my second wedding. mike and i planned it in 8 weeks. i was excited in the weeks that lead up to it, but i was the most excited the day before and the day of the blessed event. our ceremony was intimate. it was as if we were the only two in the church as we read to each other, as we said our vows. he was the man of my dreams...and more. he wanted to love me, he wanted to protect me, he wanted to grow in the Lord, he wanted to grow closer to me, he wanted to be the best husband he could be.


to this day he continues to amaze me as a husband. he is so genuine, so loving, so trusting, so full of integrity, wants to grow in the Lord more and more, has a passion for me and our marriage, is a great father...the list could go on. like i said before, i believe in marriage. i believe in the Lord's union of husband and wife. i believe in it because he has blessed me with it.

Lord,
Be with our marriages. Protect our hearts from things that will hinder our marriages. Protect our eyes that they would not look at anything lustfully, protect our hearts from the lies of this world. Lord, strengthen our marriages and help us to overcome any obstacle that we may face. Show us that you're present. We need to see you.
I love you Lord