Over the past couple of weeks it seems as if I have had so many "different" experiences. It started two weeks ago when my son came down with the flu. He was so sick, unable to keep anything down and going to the restroom constantly. We're still battling the restroom bit, but it is getting better. I've never known a flu to last that long. I feel so bad for the little guy. Then a week and a half ago my mom came up for a visit. It was so nice to have her around, but during her stay I ended up with the flu. Thank goodness it was only an upset stomach, nothing more. Then on Friday night Avery and I were leaving Mike's basketball game. We were on our way home and a lady ran a red light and hit me. Avery and I were both fine. I saw her at the last possible moment and slammed on the brakes, but I was unable to avoid her. She hit me on the driver's side front quarter panel and it caused my car to spin a bit and my back end came around and hit her. Needless to say, the entire driver's side of my car is, well, messed up. After I realized we were okay I took care of the necessary things, calling 911 and Mike and prayed. I thanked the Lord for protecting us. I pray for protection every day and I know that the Lord took care of us that night. If I woudn't have had the opportunity to hit the brakes she would have hit me broadside...right in my door. God is so good. One could look at that and say I was "lucky". I don't believe in luck. I believe in the power of God. I believe in His protection, I believe in His salvation, I believe in His love, I believe in His grace, I believe in His forgiveness, I believe in His mercy, I believe in His sovereignty, I believe in HIM!
This particular event has really made me think. Am I living the life I should be? Am I allowing other things to take away my time with God? Do I worry more about the things of this world than about proclaiming His name? Am I guaranteed tomorrow? There have been more thoughts, but to put them all down would be impossible. I just know that I want to please Him in all things. I'm working on that, but I know that I must allow Him to take hold and and change me. I have to be willing. I am willing.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
marriage
it's been quite a while since i've had a chance to write. life has been good, really good, rough, amazing....
last weekend my husband, mike, and i went to a marriage retreat. our church had a Sweet Escape for married couples with dinner, sessions with pastor boggs, breakfast, more sessions, mingling with other couples, etc. mike and i had such a good time. our marriage is amazing anyway, but it was just nice to get away with him, by ourselves, without avery. it is always good to cultivate your relationship. i feel as if mike and i do a good job of this already, but we can always become better. each of us communicate, each of us go the extra mile, each of us thank each other when one puts forth effort or does something extra. it's amazing because at one point i didn't believe in marriage. i didn't think that marriage could be anything great. now, the Lord has blessed me and has shown me what marriage is supposed to be. it's an indescribable union between two people that are committed to one another, that love each other unconditionally regardless of flaws. i love marriage now. i love my spouse more than i ever dreamed possible. i'm so thankful that the Lord brought mike into my path to share life with. God is Good.
do you ever wonder what makes marriage last or not last? the answer is pretty easy...God or satan. my first marriage was a nightmare. every girl dreams of their wedding day. they think it is going to be a spectacular day. the day before my first wedding i was scared to death. the guy was a good guy...nice, fun, attended church and seemed to be a lover of the Lord. i just remember the day before the wedding i was scared to death. i didn't know if i wanted to go through with it. i looked at him and wanted to run away. i thought to myself, 'he's not right with the Lord'. i ignored the feelings thinking that it was pre-wedding jitters. it was later i realized that this was a more serious problem.
the moment the wedding festivities were over i knew that i had gone through with something i shouldn't have. i thought to myself, 'i have to go away with this guy for a week!?' i was not looking forward to it. i had the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. there was a reason. i didn't listen to the Lord when He was trying to warn me. married life went on and it lasted a little over two years. it was rough. i would pray asking for direction. i felt the Lord was being silent. i didn't know what to do. i stuck it out. then the moment came when i was scared for my life. i will say that he never hurt me physically. it just got to the point that i was scared it was going to. i left. i never went back. on a sunday in july i was praying that the Lord would give me a sign, show me what to do. after church i received a call that he had met someone and would go through with a dissolution. relief swept over me. i believe that was the Lord saying, "here is your answer."
fast forward to august 2005...my second wedding. mike and i planned it in 8 weeks. i was excited in the weeks that lead up to it, but i was the most excited the day before and the day of the blessed event. our ceremony was intimate. it was as if we were the only two in the church as we read to each other, as we said our vows. he was the man of my dreams...and more. he wanted to love me, he wanted to protect me, he wanted to grow in the Lord, he wanted to grow closer to me, he wanted to be the best husband he could be.
to this day he continues to amaze me as a husband. he is so genuine, so loving, so trusting, so full of integrity, wants to grow in the Lord more and more, has a passion for me and our marriage, is a great father...the list could go on. like i said before, i believe in marriage. i believe in the Lord's union of husband and wife. i believe in it because he has blessed me with it.
Lord,
Be with our marriages. Protect our hearts from things that will hinder our marriages. Protect our eyes that they would not look at anything lustfully, protect our hearts from the lies of this world. Lord, strengthen our marriages and help us to overcome any obstacle that we may face. Show us that you're present. We need to see you.
I love you Lord
last weekend my husband, mike, and i went to a marriage retreat. our church had a Sweet Escape for married couples with dinner, sessions with pastor boggs, breakfast, more sessions, mingling with other couples, etc. mike and i had such a good time. our marriage is amazing anyway, but it was just nice to get away with him, by ourselves, without avery. it is always good to cultivate your relationship. i feel as if mike and i do a good job of this already, but we can always become better. each of us communicate, each of us go the extra mile, each of us thank each other when one puts forth effort or does something extra. it's amazing because at one point i didn't believe in marriage. i didn't think that marriage could be anything great. now, the Lord has blessed me and has shown me what marriage is supposed to be. it's an indescribable union between two people that are committed to one another, that love each other unconditionally regardless of flaws. i love marriage now. i love my spouse more than i ever dreamed possible. i'm so thankful that the Lord brought mike into my path to share life with. God is Good.
do you ever wonder what makes marriage last or not last? the answer is pretty easy...God or satan. my first marriage was a nightmare. every girl dreams of their wedding day. they think it is going to be a spectacular day. the day before my first wedding i was scared to death. the guy was a good guy...nice, fun, attended church and seemed to be a lover of the Lord. i just remember the day before the wedding i was scared to death. i didn't know if i wanted to go through with it. i looked at him and wanted to run away. i thought to myself, 'he's not right with the Lord'. i ignored the feelings thinking that it was pre-wedding jitters. it was later i realized that this was a more serious problem.
the moment the wedding festivities were over i knew that i had gone through with something i shouldn't have. i thought to myself, 'i have to go away with this guy for a week!?' i was not looking forward to it. i had the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. there was a reason. i didn't listen to the Lord when He was trying to warn me. married life went on and it lasted a little over two years. it was rough. i would pray asking for direction. i felt the Lord was being silent. i didn't know what to do. i stuck it out. then the moment came when i was scared for my life. i will say that he never hurt me physically. it just got to the point that i was scared it was going to. i left. i never went back. on a sunday in july i was praying that the Lord would give me a sign, show me what to do. after church i received a call that he had met someone and would go through with a dissolution. relief swept over me. i believe that was the Lord saying, "here is your answer."
fast forward to august 2005...my second wedding. mike and i planned it in 8 weeks. i was excited in the weeks that lead up to it, but i was the most excited the day before and the day of the blessed event. our ceremony was intimate. it was as if we were the only two in the church as we read to each other, as we said our vows. he was the man of my dreams...and more. he wanted to love me, he wanted to protect me, he wanted to grow in the Lord, he wanted to grow closer to me, he wanted to be the best husband he could be.
to this day he continues to amaze me as a husband. he is so genuine, so loving, so trusting, so full of integrity, wants to grow in the Lord more and more, has a passion for me and our marriage, is a great father...the list could go on. like i said before, i believe in marriage. i believe in the Lord's union of husband and wife. i believe in it because he has blessed me with it.
Lord,
Be with our marriages. Protect our hearts from things that will hinder our marriages. Protect our eyes that they would not look at anything lustfully, protect our hearts from the lies of this world. Lord, strengthen our marriages and help us to overcome any obstacle that we may face. Show us that you're present. We need to see you.
I love you Lord
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
a few things....
I'm amazed at how much we allow the world to influence who we are, the decisions we make and who we eventually become. The conveniences we have are wonderful, but sometimes I think that our lives would be more fulfilling without them. One concern that plagues our lives is that "family time" is not coveted as much as it used to be. I began seeing it in my generation when there were so many things to become involved in. I played softball and volleyball, was part of a few organizations in high school, attended youth group and worked whenever I was not in a sport. Life become very busy. My parents were always running to this event or that event. Time was never spent together as a family...we very rarely sat around the table and ate dinner together. Sometimes I wish I could go back and see my parents in their 30's and truly know them, their tendencies, their likes.
I see my family falling into this trap already...the business trap. Mike, Avery and I try to eat together at the table as much as possible. We try and find out about each others day. We try to take time to play with Avery. Family is important to both of us...and we want to instill that in our children. This is easier said than done!
On a different note...I've given many opinions in my life. It seems like lately the it's been about how over medicated our society is....how vaccinations are not good for our children...how we can be poisoned by the foods the FDA says are okay. Why are we so swayed by the things of this world? Over medicated...I swear, people are on more medications to counter the symptoms of other medications. To me this doesn't make sense. We lead the world in the medications we consume. I have stats on it, just not at my fingertips. Then we over vaccinate our children. Since mass vaccinations there have been so many different diseases/neurological disorders from autism, ADD, ADHD, cancer, auto immune disorders, chronic colds....the list goes on and on. What people don't realize is vaccinations are mandated, not mandatory. Many believe that they are required to enter public school, although waivers can be signed. Most are not aware of the "extra" ingredients that are put into vaccinations. Thimerosol is added to some, which is a form of mercury. The doses of thimerosol our children receive through vaccinations are poisonous to their system. It builds up in the body because their tiny bodies are not able to discharge of this additive until they are two. Then there's formaldehyde. This is what they use to embalm people. This is a cancer causing agent. That would explain the outbreak of childhood cancers. Another is antifreeze. I don't think I need to make any explanation about that. This is what they are putting in our children. It breaks my heart every time I hear of another child diagnosed with autism or cancer. I think to myself 'could this have been prevented'. We are not educating ourselves....and it's hurting our children. (a fabulous website for information on the ingredients in vaccines is http://www.novaccine.com/ and a good book is The Sanctity of Human Blood) Last but not least our FDA is approving additives in food that are harming our society. Aspartame, Hydroginated Oils, Monosodium Glutimate, Sucralose...that's just a short list. Next time you are in the store...look at the list of ingredients and if one of these are on it put it back on the shelf!
Okay, so I've gone on a tangent about some things today...but these are from my heart. This is what most aren't aware of and some don't want you to know. All I ask is that you do some research before you make decisions regarding medication, vaccination or buying foods/drinks with the ingredients I noted above. I care to much about others to not tell you this!!
Take care my friends.
I see my family falling into this trap already...the business trap. Mike, Avery and I try to eat together at the table as much as possible. We try and find out about each others day. We try to take time to play with Avery. Family is important to both of us...and we want to instill that in our children. This is easier said than done!
On a different note...I've given many opinions in my life. It seems like lately the it's been about how over medicated our society is....how vaccinations are not good for our children...how we can be poisoned by the foods the FDA says are okay. Why are we so swayed by the things of this world? Over medicated...I swear, people are on more medications to counter the symptoms of other medications. To me this doesn't make sense. We lead the world in the medications we consume. I have stats on it, just not at my fingertips. Then we over vaccinate our children. Since mass vaccinations there have been so many different diseases/neurological disorders from autism, ADD, ADHD, cancer, auto immune disorders, chronic colds....the list goes on and on. What people don't realize is vaccinations are mandated, not mandatory. Many believe that they are required to enter public school, although waivers can be signed. Most are not aware of the "extra" ingredients that are put into vaccinations. Thimerosol is added to some, which is a form of mercury. The doses of thimerosol our children receive through vaccinations are poisonous to their system. It builds up in the body because their tiny bodies are not able to discharge of this additive until they are two. Then there's formaldehyde. This is what they use to embalm people. This is a cancer causing agent. That would explain the outbreak of childhood cancers. Another is antifreeze. I don't think I need to make any explanation about that. This is what they are putting in our children. It breaks my heart every time I hear of another child diagnosed with autism or cancer. I think to myself 'could this have been prevented'. We are not educating ourselves....and it's hurting our children. (a fabulous website for information on the ingredients in vaccines is http://www.novaccine.com/ and a good book is The Sanctity of Human Blood) Last but not least our FDA is approving additives in food that are harming our society. Aspartame, Hydroginated Oils, Monosodium Glutimate, Sucralose...that's just a short list. Next time you are in the store...look at the list of ingredients and if one of these are on it put it back on the shelf!
Okay, so I've gone on a tangent about some things today...but these are from my heart. This is what most aren't aware of and some don't want you to know. All I ask is that you do some research before you make decisions regarding medication, vaccination or buying foods/drinks with the ingredients I noted above. I care to much about others to not tell you this!!
Take care my friends.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
a longing for family
During this season in my life times get difficult. My husband is a girls basketball coach and keeps busy during the winter with games, scouting, practices and every other PR thing he has going on. He is absolutely amazing at it and I love that he has such a passion for the girls he coaches...not just from a basketball standpoint, but on building character and helping them see the big picture of life. I love that he builds character and strength in these young women and shows them how to care for people. He uses our marriage to show them what a relationship should be like, he talks about his thankfulness for God and he goes over different topcs from work ethic to loving each other. I love him for his love for them. I love him for his love for his family. I love him for his love for the Lord. I love him for being the person he is. What can I say, I LOVE HIM!
So...this time in life gets difficult because he's not around a lot. I see him for a few hours here, a few hours there, but to spend a significant amount of time together is almost impossible. Those are the times I long for my family to be here. My parents moved to Alabama 5 years ago because my Dad was offered a job. I'm so happy that they have made a life down there, but my heart longs for them to return. I miss our old house, the one I grew up in. I miss the moments with my mom in our kitchen. I miss visiting my dad in his garage with the blow torch heater (have you ever seen one of those things? I actually forget what they are called) working on restoring a car. He actually had this heater rigged to turn on and off depending on the temperature in the garage. I swear, he can do anything. I miss seeing them on every holiday, every birthday and very day I needed "family time". They are parents that are filled with such wisdom, such love for the Lord, love for their family and love for each other. I wish they were closer. Then, there's my brother. He moved to California 4 years ago to start a life with a young woman. I haven't seen him since, but I think that has been good. Hurts needed to heal and they needed to make their relationship the most it could be. He has two gorgeous boys that I have never met...only seen pictures. I long to see him. I love him dearly, but life doesn't always allow time together. I miss the times we would go outside and play in the snow, I miss watching him play baseball, I miss his singing, I miss his caring eyes...ones that would look past any ones "wrongs" and love them regardless of their faults. He is such a wonderful man. I miss my family.
Even though I'm alone a lot, it gives me time to focus on the Lord. He comforts me, He loves me, He gives me peace, He fills the voids. Needless to say, my family being gone has helped me find my comfort in the Father. It's not always easy, but when it's at its worst I'm always comforted through His Word and through prayer.
So...this time in life gets difficult because he's not around a lot. I see him for a few hours here, a few hours there, but to spend a significant amount of time together is almost impossible. Those are the times I long for my family to be here. My parents moved to Alabama 5 years ago because my Dad was offered a job. I'm so happy that they have made a life down there, but my heart longs for them to return. I miss our old house, the one I grew up in. I miss the moments with my mom in our kitchen. I miss visiting my dad in his garage with the blow torch heater (have you ever seen one of those things? I actually forget what they are called) working on restoring a car. He actually had this heater rigged to turn on and off depending on the temperature in the garage. I swear, he can do anything. I miss seeing them on every holiday, every birthday and very day I needed "family time". They are parents that are filled with such wisdom, such love for the Lord, love for their family and love for each other. I wish they were closer. Then, there's my brother. He moved to California 4 years ago to start a life with a young woman. I haven't seen him since, but I think that has been good. Hurts needed to heal and they needed to make their relationship the most it could be. He has two gorgeous boys that I have never met...only seen pictures. I long to see him. I love him dearly, but life doesn't always allow time together. I miss the times we would go outside and play in the snow, I miss watching him play baseball, I miss his singing, I miss his caring eyes...ones that would look past any ones "wrongs" and love them regardless of their faults. He is such a wonderful man. I miss my family.
Even though I'm alone a lot, it gives me time to focus on the Lord. He comforts me, He loves me, He gives me peace, He fills the voids. Needless to say, my family being gone has helped me find my comfort in the Father. It's not always easy, but when it's at its worst I'm always comforted through His Word and through prayer.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
prayer...
Okay...first off I deleted my first 4 posts. I didn't realize what I was doing, so now it looks as if I have this blog with NOTHING written. Sorry about that. I'm learning more and more how to do this. Bear with me.
Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I had a morning in which I lost my patience with my son after he climbed on the dinner table and tipped my full cup of coffee over. I didn't realize how quickly liquid could disperse until that very moment. Let's just say that my floor is still sticky in spots. So, after losing my patience the plumber came to fix my stopped up sink and leaky toilet. Then I went to lunch with two wonderful friends and headed back home with a sleeping boy in tow. During this down time (as I like to call it), I visited my friend Kate's blog. As I read my heart began to ache for her. I understood the words she wrote because I had walked a day in those shoes 5 1/2 years ago. After reading her blog I went to one she had talked about. The woman's name is Lauren and two years ago her husband passed away. She has a two year old son (he was 3 months when his father died). I read her story of the last walk she ever had with her husband. I cried. I cried harder than I had in so long. I am not one to cry. Sometimes I try so hard to cry because I need to, but the tears will not come. Yesterday was different. I thought of Lauren's strength, her faith, her love for the husband that is up with Jesus, her son that will never know his father, her loneliness, her optimism, her heart. I thought of Kate's marriage, her hurting, her hope that is and sometimes isn't, her faith, her son, who she is and what she stands for. I sat there in silence and cried. I prayed for Lauren and Kate, I ached for them. I didn't even have words for my Father...although He knew my heart. I wished at that moment, while on my knees, that I would look up and see Him. I didn't see Him, but I could feel Him.
Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I had a morning in which I lost my patience with my son after he climbed on the dinner table and tipped my full cup of coffee over. I didn't realize how quickly liquid could disperse until that very moment. Let's just say that my floor is still sticky in spots. So, after losing my patience the plumber came to fix my stopped up sink and leaky toilet. Then I went to lunch with two wonderful friends and headed back home with a sleeping boy in tow. During this down time (as I like to call it), I visited my friend Kate's blog. As I read my heart began to ache for her. I understood the words she wrote because I had walked a day in those shoes 5 1/2 years ago. After reading her blog I went to one she had talked about. The woman's name is Lauren and two years ago her husband passed away. She has a two year old son (he was 3 months when his father died). I read her story of the last walk she ever had with her husband. I cried. I cried harder than I had in so long. I am not one to cry. Sometimes I try so hard to cry because I need to, but the tears will not come. Yesterday was different. I thought of Lauren's strength, her faith, her love for the husband that is up with Jesus, her son that will never know his father, her loneliness, her optimism, her heart. I thought of Kate's marriage, her hurting, her hope that is and sometimes isn't, her faith, her son, who she is and what she stands for. I sat there in silence and cried. I prayed for Lauren and Kate, I ached for them. I didn't even have words for my Father...although He knew my heart. I wished at that moment, while on my knees, that I would look up and see Him. I didn't see Him, but I could feel Him.
After my "moment of tears" I spoke to my best friend, Chandra. I could hear the desperation in her voice. The uncertainty of life, the hurt that had turned into numbness. I was crushed to hear that things had not changed and that she was growing cold. I also had that feeling once...(but I won't elaborate on that in this post...that will be another post.) These three women, one is like my sister, one is my friend from high school and another I don't know at all. These women, all sisters in Christ, are hurting. At this moment I feel the pain. I'm open to it, I want to pray for them every second of every day. I awoke early this morning at 12:30 and could not get back to sleep. All I could do is pray. I wish I could do more, but I could never do as much (even if able) for these ladies as God Almighty can.
As I was reading 2 Samuel 22 today David sang a song to the Lord. Here are some verses that really struck me.
1-3 "The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the strength of my stronghold, my high tower, my savior, the one who saves me from violence.
7 But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I called to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his hears.
17 He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.
20-26 He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me. The Lord rewarded me for doing right; he compensated me because of my innocence. For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not turned from my God to follow evil. For all his laws are constantly before me; I have never abandoned his principles. I am blameless before God; I have kept myself from sin. The Lord rewarded me for doing right, because of my innocence in his sight. To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity you show integrity.
30-31 In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall. As for God, his way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection."
Those words encouraged me today. I hope they encourage everyone who reads them. God is good. With His strength I can scale any wall! His promises are true! He shows Himself faithful!
AMEN. Thank you Lord.
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