Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I had a morning in which I lost my patience with my son after he climbed on the dinner table and tipped my full cup of coffee over. I didn't realize how quickly liquid could disperse until that very moment. Let's just say that my floor is still sticky in spots. So, after losing my patience the plumber came to fix my stopped up sink and leaky toilet. Then I went to lunch with two wonderful friends and headed back home with a sleeping boy in tow. During this down time (as I like to call it), I visited my friend Kate's blog. As I read my heart began to ache for her. I understood the words she wrote because I had walked a day in those shoes 5 1/2 years ago. After reading her blog I went to one she had talked about. The woman's name is Lauren and two years ago her husband passed away. She has a two year old son (he was 3 months when his father died). I read her story of the last walk she ever had with her husband. I cried. I cried harder than I had in so long. I am not one to cry. Sometimes I try so hard to cry because I need to, but the tears will not come. Yesterday was different. I thought of Lauren's strength, her faith, her love for the husband that is up with Jesus, her son that will never know his father, her loneliness, her optimism, her heart. I thought of Kate's marriage, her hurting, her hope that is and sometimes isn't, her faith, her son, who she is and what she stands for. I sat there in silence and cried. I prayed for Lauren and Kate, I ached for them. I didn't even have words for my Father...although He knew my heart. I wished at that moment, while on my knees, that I would look up and see Him. I didn't see Him, but I could feel Him.
After my "moment of tears" I spoke to my best friend, Chandra. I could hear the desperation in her voice. The uncertainty of life, the hurt that had turned into numbness. I was crushed to hear that things had not changed and that she was growing cold. I also had that feeling once...(but I won't elaborate on that in this post...that will be another post.) These three women, one is like my sister, one is my friend from high school and another I don't know at all. These women, all sisters in Christ, are hurting. At this moment I feel the pain. I'm open to it, I want to pray for them every second of every day. I awoke early this morning at 12:30 and could not get back to sleep. All I could do is pray. I wish I could do more, but I could never do as much (even if able) for these ladies as God Almighty can.
As I was reading 2 Samuel 22 today David sang a song to the Lord. Here are some verses that really struck me.
1-3 "The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the strength of my stronghold, my high tower, my savior, the one who saves me from violence.
7 But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I called to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his hears.
17 He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.
20-26 He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me. The Lord rewarded me for doing right; he compensated me because of my innocence. For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not turned from my God to follow evil. For all his laws are constantly before me; I have never abandoned his principles. I am blameless before God; I have kept myself from sin. The Lord rewarded me for doing right, because of my innocence in his sight. To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity you show integrity.
30-31 In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall. As for God, his way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection."
Those words encouraged me today. I hope they encourage everyone who reads them. God is good. With His strength I can scale any wall! His promises are true! He shows Himself faithful!
AMEN. Thank you Lord.
2 comments:
you are so sweet... thanks for your prayers, Ashley. It means a lot because I know that you do really understand the spot I am in better than a lot of other readers/friends/bloggers.
We need to make plans to get together after Christmas... I got a new job and am training like 90 hours between now and the time we leave for Christmas in Oregon (UGH)
But we get back afternoon on the 28th and then I will know my schedule for January and can make plans.
I am glad you started a blog as well:) I used to use blogger a long time ago, but I still remember it pretty well so if you need any help, just let me know
You will never know how much you inspire and impact those you bless with your presence and your words! God has blessed you with such gifts! The day you came into my life, my world changed... and I will never be the same! Thank you, thank you for your love and for always thinking of me and for praying for me!
See you soon!
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